so,
lately i've been having horrible mood swings and just been feeeling down at ever small thing that happens

i feel depressed in other words.
i googled on depressions to see if i have the symptoms:

explanation on depression

Minor depression is a fairly common mood disturbance that consists of two to five depression symptoms that last for at least two weeks.

Although it is called "minor depression," the impact of this condition isn't minor. The symptoms of minor depression can dramatically affect the sufferer's ability to function and his overall quality of life.

The rate of minor depression is actually higher than that of major depression, yet the condition is often misdiagnosed or simply ignored.

Minor depression shares the same symptoms as major depression, though the symptoms are fewer in number and can be less obvious.

THE SYMPTOMS:

Sadness or Withdrawal

Patients suffering from minor depression typically feel sad or depressed for the greater part of nearly every day. Women with this condition often seem tearful and shy, while children and teenagers tend to exhibit irritability or hostility. Males with minor depression can come across as agitated and restless. Sufferers often have moderate to severe conflicts with family members and friends. Individuals with minor depression often show a dramatically decreased interest or pleasure in usual activities and hobbies. They tend to withdraw from social interactions and activities. An individual must exhibit either sadness or a lack of interest in usual activities to be diagnosed with minor depression.

Changes in Sleep Patterns and Appetite

Individuals suffering with minor depression often have sleep irregularities, either sleeping too little or too much almost every day. While some patients begin experiencing severe insomnia, others report they simply cannot keep their eyes open. Many patients feel fatigued and sluggish, while others describe feeling restless and jittery. Minor depression symptoms may also include dramatic changes in appetite. A sufferer can suddenly lose or gain excessive amounts of weight.

Focus Problems

Many people who suffer from minor depression begin experiencing focus problems. Some patients find it extremely difficult to concentrate on daily activities. The regular tasks that were once quite easy to perform are now too complicated or exhausting to complete. Other individuals find it hard to make even the simplest of decisions. Many patients report having trouble with their memory, often forgetting appointments and people's names. These focus problems can result in the patient having trouble performing well in school or at work.

Extreme Emotions and Suicidal Tendencies

Other symptoms of minor depression include extreme and inappropriate feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness and self-hatred. Many patients have sudden bursts of anger and aggression because of these emotions. They can't seem to control the negative thoughts and emotions, no matter how hard they try. Low self-esteem is commonly shared by individuals with minor depression. Some patients think about death constantly and contemplate the ending their lives. A few sufferers actually make a suicide attempt.
...

So,looks like i have depression
i dont say this cause its 'cool'
but i just want to know more on it, its good to know and it is NORMAL
i know many ppl,especially teens go through this.

i find it good to talk to people to get myself straightened out.
talking not mainly on my probs, but just talking.
i feel assurance and good

usually i find it good talking to Tiffany
but lately Tiff's been busy
and i feel like im annoying her with me talking too much.
i know she has a her own sets of probs too
everyone is only human
but i feel good when she talks to me bout her probs,or anybody with that matter
i feel good if i know i can help/advice
:)

anyways,
so i guess since i've not many ppl to express myself with,
i keep to myself,and thats when i get all emo and stuff.
hurm.

but yesterday,i crashed and really needed anyone to talk with

Neeru called me, i got a lil bit out of my system.
then

i texted Kitty and thank god she replied
she made me feel better with some assuring words
and felt a tinny bit better

but when i woke up again today
i went to a depressed mode again,it just happens.
i didnt wanna get out of bed at all.

sigh.

im not an attention seeker

even writing is helping me a lil
and maybe someone who's facing depression can read and know they're not the only ones,right?

i just hope all this will stop soon.
maybe its just not my month or year.
wtv.
i just want this feeling to fucking go away.